mental health Archives - Gabbitas

Supporting wellbeing and mental health issues

Kim Hollamby — Wed, 18 Mar 2020 15:07:46 +0000

Many schools run sessions for parents on issues of pastoral concern. Here at Gabbitas, we want to support our clients in every aspect of parenting. We have unparalleled expertise in finding schools for children with special needs, be it dyslexia, ADHD, Asperger’s or depression. We’ve also compiled a list here of recommendations on how to support children if you, as a parent, think they might have mental health issues.

1. Encourage conversation

In a world of emojis, acronyms and abbreviations, it’s important to take some time out to talk to your child, without overwhelming or intimidating them. Be casual when you first start the conversation and let them speak, without voicing too many of your own opinions. That way, you will make sure that they tell you how they feel, rather than what they think you’d like to hear.

The conversation doesn’t necessarily have to be about mental health – it’s just about making them feel comfortable with talking to you so that, if something does start upsetting or worrying them, they know they can turn to you. Talking to your child about mental health is a good thing and if they want to discuss it with you, all the better. The more secure they feel about talking to you, about problems big or small, the more likely they are to be open.

2. Be patient

The thought that your child’s mental wellbeing might be suffering is undoubtedly hugely worrying for a parent, and this worry can often turn to frustration and feelings of helplessness. However, it is important to wait until your child is ready to share. It can take them some time to open-up, acknowledge their feelings and be able to articulate them fully. They might feel ashamed or embarrassed. It is important that you don’t push them and let them talk to you when they are comfortable, not because they are pressurised to do so. Patience can be especially difficult for parents, as they want to help and might feel frustrated at times, but try to persevere and remain calm. Meantime, talk to someone yourself, share your thoughts in confidence with a close friend or family member, who can offer support and advice.

3. Be present

It can be difficult at times to balance work and parenthood at the same time as worrying about your child’s wellbeing. However, it is essential that you carve out a bit of time each day to just be one-on-one with your child, whether it is simply to talk or do something fun. Switch off your phone, ignore any emails and just focus on quality time together.

4. Don’t overreact

There’s no doubt that being a modern teenager is tough, but it’s important to identify the difference between adolescent phases and other, more permanent, issues. While it is natural for a parent to be worried about their child, it is also vital to remember that children will go through stages as they experience new emotions. They might be adapting to a new change in their life, perhaps it is a new school, a new circle of friends or even a small change in their routine. Often, with the right support from their family, children’s behaviours can change and go back to how they were. Be sure to monitor changes in your child’s behaviour over time as, if you do end up having cause for concern, this will help identify any possible patterns in their moods.

5. Look after yourself

Remember that you are the ultimate role model for children, and that includes leading by example when it comes to mental health and general wellbeing. It will also do you some good, too. Look after your own mental health, as that can only have a positive impact on your family. Similarly, think about how you show your own emotions of anger and distress in front of your kids, as they are likely to take a lot of behavioural cues from you.

6. Make sure your child gets enough sleep

A recent survey showed that just 15% of British teenagers report getting enough sleep, relaxation and exercise. These three things are crucial to a healthy mind set, so be sure to instil the importance of these factors in your children. The issue of sleep is the focus for this year’s Mental Health Week May 18-24 2020

7. Seek help

If you have persistent worries about your child, then it is important to do something about it. Often, it can be enough to ask your child what they think might help them to feel better and to implement the change. However, they may be unwilling to speak to you about their problems or they don’t know themselves what could help. If you are deeply concerned, you should visit your GP – your child can have a one-on-one meeting with them, or you can talk about your concerns and ask for some guidance. Alternatively, discuss your concerns with your child’s teacher or school, they may be able to offer your child support during the week.

There are also many charities and organisations which offer information and support to parents and young people that are worried or affected. Some also have helplines that you can contact and speak to someone directly. Amongst them:

Mind https://www.mind.org.uk/
Young Minds https://youngminds.org.uk/
Sane http://www.sane.org.uk/
Heads Together https://www.headstogether.org.uk/
Minds Ahead https://www.mindsahead.org.uk/
Place2Be https://www.place2be.org.uk/our-story.aspx

Also, check out the personal development and mental health app Remente https://www.remente.com/

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School holiday activities to benefit your child

Kim Hollamby — Mon, 23 Dec 2019 09:32:00 +0000

Autumn term is the longest term of the academic year. By the time children finish this term they will have gone through hours of studying, learning and performance pressure which can leave them fatigued, stressed or anxious. That is why using the winter holidays for relaxing and mindful activities is hugely beneficial to your child’s mental wellbeing as well as providing a good way to prepare them for the Spring term.

Often children try to find relaxation in front of mobile phones, gaming consoles, laptops or television. Little do they know, however, that excessive consumption of technology can have the exact opposite effect on them.

Spending time together as a family is a great way to counterbalance the use of too much technology. Here are some activities we suggest the whole family can get behind.

Make the most of Museums

With the cold and rainy weather outside, winter is the perfect month to visit some of the UK’s greatest Museums. While you might have already been to The British Museum or The National History Museum, why not consider some that are not as obvious but no less fun. Below are a few we have personally visited and recommend.

London Transport Museum

A very interactive museum, London Transport Museum is geared to welcome younger visitors by telling the history of London and its transport in a fun manner.

V&A Museum of Childhood

This museum offers a great experience to connect our children to toys of the past, present and possible future. The V&A Museum of Childhood

Roald Dahl Museum

As one of our favourite museums, the Roald Dahl Museum aimed at ages 6 to 12 allows children to look back at Dahl’s life and (re)discover his stories.

Taking a Winter Walk

We all know the befits of physical activity and the importance of instilling the love for the outdoors in our children. Choosing the right route is the most important thing to consider when teaching youngsters the benefits of the great outdoors. Think practical, fun and simple. Make sure to choose a route you know your children can complete before they get bored.

Finally, enjoy being outside with your family. Participate in finding animal tracks, looking for sticks and stones to collect or puddles to play in.

The Thrill of the Theatre

One way to make Christmas truly magical and invoke love for the arts in children at the same time is to visit a Christmas show. Produced and directed with children in mind, theatre productions are fun for the whole family and there are some stunning productions playing in theatres all over London.

There are, of course, many more activities that families can enjoy together without the need of technology or screens. You might want to try organising a board game tournament with prizes for winners, or get crafty by making snow globes, festive buntings or even giving homemade Christmas crackers a go. Whatever you choose, however, doing it together as a family will contribute to not only your child’s overall happiness but also will facilitate relaxation, and mental preparation for next year.

We wish you a very happy festive season.

This article from Dilara Cabuk at at London-based education consultant, Gabbitas, first appeared in the December 2019 edition of Battersea & Wandsworth Life

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Recognising and dealing with stress

Gabbitas Rep — Tue, 23 Jul 2019 15:14:50 +0000

As the exam season has drawn to a close and holidays are beginning, anxiety and stress may seem like a thing of the past few months. Nevertheless, for many the exam results themselves can bring about just as much stress an anxiety and what about all that holiday work that has been set for next term?

Longer term anxiety and stress is an issue which is seemingly impacting more and more young people. As the dialogue surrounding mental health and stress appears in our daily media how can we effectively help young people identify the factors that are causing them stress and anxiety and what practical support can we give children to deal with these stresses?

According to the NHS although it is normal for children to feel worries or anxious from time to time, the rise of specific anxiety disorders and long term stress is leading to further calls for professional support and importantly for parents and teachers to be able to recognise this type of stress or anxiety.

A recent paper from the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University mentioned that “exposure to circumstances that produce persistent fear and chronic anxiety can have lifelong consequences by disrupting the developing architecture of the brain.” (JP Shonkoff et all). It is clearly important for parents and teachers to understand the causative factors and methods of dealing with stress and anxiety within children.

There are different types of anxiety many of which are particularly common in children and adolescents. With younger children phobias and separation anxiety can be common whilst particularly with adolescents social and school-based anxiety are according to recent research particularly prevalent. There are not always clear signs of anxiety and often parents can struggle to talk to their children about their mental health.

The Mental Health Foundation has published excellent material on how to understand some of the issues surrounding anxiety within children and adolescents. These include some of the signs of anxiety in children such as:

they are extremely shy, timid and clinging
they have real difficulties mixing with other children
they have difficulty getting off to and staying asleep
they have repeated nightmares (more than one a week)
they have repeated complaints of headache or stomach ache
they are constantly asking if things are all right or other ways of asking for reassurance

(The Mental Health Foundation 1997)

Parents can often tell if something is not quite right and combined with some of the above indicators it may be a good time to sit down and chat with your children. Associate Professor Chris Davey from the National Centre of Excellence in Youth Mental Health in Australia suggests being upfront and not skirting around the issues and suggesting that you have noticed that they have not been themselves recently. This direct approach can help your children discuss their feelings and allow you both to deal with them as they occur.

Nevertheless, many parents may find that their children, particularly teenagers, may not open up to them. This is not unusual and there are other routes to dealing with this and one of the biggest recent trends in education may provide an excellent answer.

Mentoring has seen a meteoric rise in recent years with parents seeking the benefits of young mentors to help their children with the general approach to their studies and organisation of their daily routines. These mentors have often proven to be much more than just excellent study guides though and often the trust and rapport which builds up between mentors and their mentees mean that they can be very well placed to talk to children and adolescents about their mental health. Although as a parent you may have found it difficult to talk to your children about their mental health it is important to understand that children may find it easier to open up to a non-family member like a mentor in order to discuss their anxieties.

Mentoring is something that has helped many students in the past with their studies but as the trending mental health issues in young people become more acute hopefully mentors will also be able to continue to provide support and a listening ear for children and adolescents who are struggling.

Gabbitas has a number of excellent mentors many of whom have specific experience dealing with children’s mental health issues and can provide not only excellent academic mentoring but also act as role models and provide support for children throughout their education.

If you have any concerns about mental health within children find out more information on the NHS Website

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Teaching Children To Be Resilient Is Only The Start

Gabbitas Rep — Wed, 21 Mar 2018 13:50:04 +0000

With mental health problems on the rise and anxiety in young people at the highest level to date, Tim Wilbur talks about how we can offer meaningful support to our students.

I am delighted to have been asked to chair the afternoon session on ‘Resilience’ as part of the Optimus Education conference on ‘Supporting Student Wellbeing in Independent Education’ in April.

The topic has always been important to me, as my four educational leadership roles have coincided with the period of education encompassed by the Children Act of 1998 to the present-day focus on Wellbeing. However, my feelings towards the topic are even stronger than many expressed today. Put simply, I believe teaching children to be ‘resilient’ is only the start; we need to teach them to not only conquer whatever they are troubled by but also, on some occasions, to carry the battle back.

In this context, I was particularly struck by Nassim Nicholas Taleb’s book ‘Antifragility’ when it first appeared in 2012. Taleb, the populist guru of ‘probability’, famous already for his books ‘Fooled by Randomness’ and ‘Black Swan’, states in his third book ‘Antifragility’ that resilience simply is not enough.

Although ostensibly not a book about education, the more I read the more I reflected on the teaching of resilience and the more I thought that this is indeed one of the best books on education I have ever read.

Taleb’s point is that the opposite of ‘fragile’ is not ‘resilient’, it is ‘antifragile’ and hence the title of the book. He states ‘Antifragility is beyond resilience and robustness. The resilient resists shocks and stays the same; the antifragile gets better.’ In Taleb’s words, ‘We don’t just want to survive uncertainty, to just about make it. We want to survive uncertainty and, in addition, have the last word.’ In educational terms, if we replace ‘uncertainty’ with all the pressures and conditions facing our young people today, the message could not be clearer.

Dealing with young people’s problems is hard enough and there are times when getting close to ‘breaking even’ in any situation is a real challenge for any responsible person involved in any given case. However, having read Taleb, it did appear to me that looking beyond ‘repair’ made it possible to offer sustained support to young people in real terms.

Of course, we cannot produce antifragility in all of them, and we need to beware the concept of creating the super-human: history shows the danger in that. All our hopes and legislation are based on the realistic opportunity to create a level playing field for all our youngsters so they can live, if they choose, ‘ordinary lives’ free from interference and harm. Some of the pressure we put on them to exceed expectations are for many simply unattainable. As educational professionals, we need to exercise responsibility and I know we do. However, in just a few cases, it would be great to fight back, to document success and to encourage a few people to share their triumphs with the countless others who currently struggle.

Click here to read the E-Magazine PDF

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